This post-it! This lesson!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I wrote this in the wee hours of the morning. I had a big day ahead of me and this phrase leapt into my half awake mind.
I wrote it down right away and I thought, 'I'll write it prettier later…'
I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now and he talks a lot about living for the present moment, not living in the past or worrying or obsessing over the future. I love this concept but at times it's hard to practice.
Like today.
I had two contract job interviews lined up.
Two in the space of 4 hours…
on the opposite sides of town.
I wanted to remind myself that today, right now, is my guide and don't let past interviews haunt me or what these jobs could be or not be color my mood or perception.
I rode off in my car, Shelly, to the first appointment of the day.
Near the end of my drive…CRASH.
I hit someone while driving on the highway.
It was my first ever car accident and it was my fault. I felt so many things.
I'm fine. My car is fine (sorta) and so was the poor person that I hit. I got goofed up with the directions and tried to make a quick lane change because I didn't want to be late, and that impulsive emotionally charged decision is what set it off course.
I called my contact for the company and they had to tell my interviewer that I couldn't come in. We then rescheduled for tomorrow. I felt embarrassed and silly. I went home, changed into my favorite comfy pants, made tea and just sat. I didn't listen to music, watch a video, I just sat and tried to regulate my breathing.
I saw that post-it note again and gave it the side-eye. But knew it was right. I could only move forward with what was in front of me.
In 30 minutes I had to leave for my next interview.
I exchanged my sweat pants for my tights and skirt and off I went.
I tried to just think of how excited I was to meet new people and listen to them talk about what they're working on.
I got there in one piece, did a little dance, and walked my booty in the front door.
The interview was seriously like a breath of fresh air. I went in open minded and left just happy to have had the experience I did. Even if nothing were to come of this, it was just nice to meet people who are open, honest and are trying to make a difference. I wrote a thank-you email as soon as I got home because when you have a great experience like that, you let them know!
It was as if the pendulum of my day had completely swung in the other direction. I went from tears to peace to joy.
I was home for about 30 minutes, doing my laundry and I got a phone call. I had been offered the job. (!!!!!!!!!) I felt so grateful and I looked at that post-it note again.
'Today is your teacher.'
Damn.
Those words.
So much more impactful today than I originally thought. I makes me wonder if my brain just knew this attention to NOW was going to make the impact that it did.
I could have had the accident sour my mood and then bring that poor mood with me to the second interview, but I tried my best to let it go.
I also could have had their quick response to hire me scare me leaving me second guessing if this job was going to be good decision for me.
Instead I said yes to the offer because it felt right RIGHT NOW. In a few months I might not feel that way but I need to embrace what feels good in my current situation so that's what I did.
My mind still wanders to 'did I do the right thing?' or 'maybe they won't like me' or 'what if I hate it?' but I am so comforted that whatever day 'today' is, is my teacher.
I'm also leaving the words in their raw 'unpretty' form because today felt raw, real and also detached from expectations or judgements.
Now, here I sit so excited for a new experience to start next week while filling out a claims report for my car accident.
HA!